an easy out, by text

if you know anything about texting, you know it has both it's conveniences and it's inconveniences.

i've had many text conversations that were misinterpreted because of the very nature of this particular way of communicating. since you can't see their face or hear a tone of voice, it's hard to tell when someone is being sarcastic, and it can be difficult to distinguish the meaning of a statement based on text. still, it's so quick and easy that the miscommunications are overlooked and daily texting goes on.

i've blogged before about texting the wrong thing to the wrong person. yikes, let's move on.

over the holiday, i sent out a mass text to many people in my cell's phone book, saying merry christmas. sometimes the holidays are the only time i text some of those people. i have numbers in my phone for people that i don't talk to very often.

maybe this has happened to you, as the texter or the textee...but i got back a response that said, "who is this?"

then, it's decision time. there are a couple of reasons a person might get a response like that. perhaps someone changed their phone and hasn't added you back into their phone yet. or...they have taken your number out of their phone because they don't really see the need to keep it around.

you can answer their question or you can use it as an out. i thought about it for about three seconds and realized that i didn't really need that person's number either. the joy of text is that they'll never know if they accidentally got a text for someone else. and since they don't know who you are, you won't look like a jerk.

with a few quick pushes of a button, i removed that person from my list. it felt a little like cleaning house emotionally, and made me wonder who else in my phone ought to get the axe.....

nothing but time to worry

i feel pretty helpless right now.

i'm bed and couch bound, which means i have to resist my nesting urge. it makes me feel like i contribute very little to the household stuff, so i try not to run my husband everywhere. he's taking it like a champ.

knowing i'd be out of work for awhile was daunting, but then i found out it's a little worse than i thought.

since i haven't been at my job a year, they have to post it. as in, there's a pretty good chance it won't be there when i come off maternity leave. it would be protected by FMLA had i been there a year, but me and my impeccable timing...

the only sort of bright spot is that my employment with the company is protected for six months. however, this means they can offer me a janitorial or a cook position and they are still within their bounds.

one of my co-workers informed me today that they posted my hours. i was so relieved when i got those hours-it made my job a little more tolerable. better hours are snatched up fast in that department, which means even if i do get back into the department, i'll be back working 11-7:30. that's definitely not ideal for a new mom who has to drive 30 minutes to work and would prefer to get the little one on a schedule where they are in bed at a decent hour. i'd get home around 8:00 pm and have almost no time for baby and husband (who leaves for work at 10:30 pm).

it's frustrating, but i can't do anything about it. i have to be on bedrest, and i have to be on maternity leave. i've had lots of people tell me that maybe this is a blessing in disguise, and that maybe the position i'll get instead will be better.

i hope so. the possibility of not having a job and having a new baby to take care of is terrifying.

it does no good to worry since i can't change it....but i can't seem to help myself.

bedrest....day 1

i spent yesterday in the hospital. the little prince seems to think he can show up whenever he wants, which is probably just a preview of how he'll be once he arrives.

as of yesterday, at 32 weeks, he's still a boy, he weighs 4 lbs 14 oz, and he's head down. he's just biding his time to make his grand entrance.

anyway, the doctor stopped the contractions and has ordered me onto bedrest...after some rather unpleasant examinations that they keep telling me i'll get used to.

i probably should panic, since we weren't financially planning on my break from work for at least another month. however, the combination of constantly feeling so exhausted and not loving my job makes this a welcome break.

so, lessons learned from bedrest, day one: daytime television sure is lacking. it's also much harder to stay in the designated spots (bed or couch) than i originally thought. it's not like i can use this time to be productive, rearranging the nursery and run errands.

i'm not sure if this bedrest is until i deliver or just a few days. the plan is to try and keep the baby from arriving until i'm 36 weeks-another month. it could be a long month.....

at the risk of sounding ungrateful....

i could blame it on the full moon. i could blame it on the hormones. i could also blame it on people having completely bad taste.

i find that being laid back usually helps me avoid all kinds of drama. however, every once in a while something happens that lights a fire under my passive behind and i get really ticked. this was one such occasion.

i've been married for two months today. before the wedding, i was lucky enough to have two wedding showers. though i have made a few attempts to wade through my extensive stack of thank you notes, i haven't completed them yet. it's not because i'm ungrateful, it's just tedious.

some people gave me a shower gift and a wedding gift. bless them for it. i'm trying not to send people two thank you cards, so i'm still sorting out who gave what. also, i can't send out the finished cards because someone who hasn't gotten their card yet will gripe. it's frustrating that people seem to be demanding documentation of my gratefulness.

what's burning me up is that people have bothered to ask me or my family members on more than one occasion if my cards were done, which i find to be almost offensive. it was always in the plans to send out thank you cards, but i have all these etiquette nazis trying to push me around about it.

this may sound like a callous and unethical statement, but unfortunately this is how i really feel about it: if i got a gift and you attended my wedding, i think the meal at sixteen bucks a plate should grant you a little patience on receiving a thank you card. i fed you WELL, with appetizers, dinner and dessert, plus some awesome entertainment. i went around and greeted each person who came. your presence and your gift was recognized, and i will get you a thank you card. just cut me some slack!

that being said, i did get gifts and cards from people who couldn't attend, and they have far more right to wonder if their gift was received. but wouldn't you know it, they aren't the ones griping.

yeah, so i'm not emily post. i usually pride myself in being in having good manners, but if i get someone a gift, a verbal thank you works for me. every thank you card i've ever received ends up in the trash.

i had no idea that people's opinions of me were based upon whether i filled out a thank you card in a timely way. interesting. these are probably the same people who gripe at restaurants and stores to get their way, and it's annoying.

i AM THANKFUL, dang it!!

mourning another me

the me of today and the me of a year ago sure are different.

i've had a lot of changes this year. moving, becoming pregnant, getting married. not only were these events a surprise to me, but i suppose part of me expected that i'd still be the same 'ol me on the other side of them. that's not even logical, since most life events change you in some way. even if these particular events hadn't happened, i would think i'd still be at least partially different in a year's time.

this weird, new me is in desperate need of some tweaking. i always wanted to be the cool, organized, confident new mom. nobody warned me that i'd be so exhausted from growing a baby that i wouldn't care a bit if nothing i had on matched or if i had a bad hair week. i go out in public wearing things that the old me wouldn't have dared to put on. i put on makeup once a month instead of every day, twice a day. sometimes i even forget to wear perfume, and my faithful readers know how much of a perfume freak i used to be.

this is all going on before the little one is even here, and i can only assume that it will get worse.

i'm too tired to spend hours making my house a cute little newlywed home. i can't finish any projects because i get worn out or i have to give up because my body doesn't bend that way right now. my husband works a LOT harder on our place than i do, and i simply let him. i don't even feel bad!

what i do feel bad about is that this isn't very close to the girl he dated and proposed to. i haven't felt very pretty in a while. even at my wedding, i put a little more effort into what i looked like, but i wasn't meticulous and i was simply too tired to keep putting on lip gloss.

i keep promising him that the old me will show back up eventually (he's not asking for her or anything, but i just feel bad). there is a me who doesn't simply observe life from the couch and whine and look like a homeless person.

is it absolutely blasphemous to confess that i really don't enjoy being pregnant? this person that it turns me into isn't a me that i like. i'm sure the end result is more than worth it....but i'm ready to be done NOW.

newlyweds=bad blogging?

i am a bad, bad blogger.

i think about blogging all the time. and my excuse for not doing so is kinda lame, but it's the truth-my computer lives at grandma's, and i hate my husband's computer, which is at our house.

someday soon we are moving my computer into the house (his and hers computers...aw!) and then my sporadic blogging will be a thing of the past. hopefully.

is married life much different than single life? nah. i'm still not used to writing my new name and we have to remind each other all the time to wear our wedding rings.

since we are two people in our thirties who are adjusting to married life, we still have our own preferences. thank goodness we have two televisions! some things we watch together and then we go into separate rooms to catch our other shows. we meet up during commercials and kiss, lol.

we still haven't gone to the grocery store together. i still haven't cooked a real meal in our kitchen yet.

he works nights and goes to school, and i work days. this works well because we are both bed hogs.

it's nice. i'm still me, and i'm married to my perfect match. we lie around a giggle at our dorkiness. he is exactly who i want to annoy for the rest of my life ;)

things nobody told me about weddings

since i'd never done the wedding thing before, i wasn't sure to expect. there are some things that people and magazines can tell you, but here are a few things that nobody ever told me:

-there will be people who say they will come that you are sure will come, and don't.

-there will be people who you never invited that will come, too.

-it's wierd to feel obligated to hug all the people who come through your receiving line. you will have to hug strangers, whether they are your new husband's friends or part of your new family.

-as much as you love your dress, by the end of the day, you'd rather be in your pajamas.

-you will get gifts you never registered for that aren't your taste at all.

-you will get gifts you never registered for that you love.

-you will get gifts that nobody should give as gifts, and you still have to tell that person "thank you".

-there are details that you swore you'd be meticulous about on that day that when it comes, you either forget or you decide it's not as big of a deal after all.

-there is too much going on to take it all in, and that's why you rely on pictures. for instance, other than the photo op with the cake, neither of us got any cake. and we spent a long time picking that cake out!!

-you will get asked questions all day long. you won't even remember how you answered, and someone will ask about it later.

-you need a vacation after the wedding to get ready for the honeymoon, and you need a vacation after the honeymoon to prepare to go back to work.